Please find below the scheduled tea alarms for Thursday 16th July 2026. This is the time that tea should be served, therefore please allow good time for water to be boiled, and tea brewing to be commenced before service.

Due to the England National Football Team (Men’s) failure to reach the World Cup Final this Sunday, and instead being forced to play the French National Football Team (Men’s, assuming not on strike), there has been reports of increased tea hoarding in order to both ‘drown one’s sorrows’, and ensure a suitable cure for any hangover based emergency. Please rest assured that there is NO need to stockpile, as adequate supplies of tea remain within the realm of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. If necessary, supermarkets have been advised to re-route shipments of tea from Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland, where there have been no such reports of stockpiling.

Please ensure that you have an adequate supply of milk, sugar and sweetener to hand, recognising that milk may spoil quicker in warmer weather if left out of the fridge for a prolonged period of time, or if delivered in glass bottles to the doorstep. It is also advisable to provide biscuits or other suitable accompaniments. As no tea alarms scheduled for this date occur during the hours of 2PM and 6PM, there is no need for a supplementary ‘Afternoon Tea Spread’ service.

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• 7AM: For all nurses, HCAs, CSWs and other NHS staff who have worked a night shift ending on the 16th July 2026. Especially those working in ED / A&E departments.
  
  
• 11AM: In preparation for the Sir David Amess Summer Adjournment Debate in the House of Commons, as it prepares to begin it’s summer recess.

Whilst not time specific, it is advised to consume one cup of tea, preferably with a biscuit before calling into any talk radio show to discuss football related activities. The BBC in particular have been advised to confirm such activity has taken place before allowing anyone on air.